Hush-Hush, Top Secret!
by GreenPaw
Summary: Adrien knows how to keep a secret. Like a really big secret. One that no one else must know. Mainly because the other person with their own humungous secret told him he had to keep his secret too. But keeping such a miraculous thing secret is exhausting, especially when all you want to do is tell your partner the truth. (One Shot)


The biggest problem with having a secret identity was keeping said secret identity a secret. Sounds complicated, convoluted or rather a lot of secret-ness? That would be because it is. Worst of all, Adrien had never been great at keeping secrets. He was far too honest. It was one of the reasons why his father believed him too naïve to be unleashed upon the world. Not because the world would suffer but more so Adrien.

As you can imagine this irritated Adrien to no end. Of course, there was a large amount of satisfaction in being granted the cat miraculous, meaning he had to keep the biggest secret of his life. Now this in itself was a testament to his supreme secret keeping powers. But the downside, he could never use it as an example to show his father he wasn't the guileless simpleton the man considered him to be.

This constant restriction was particularly detrimental when it came to making friends at school. Daddy's trust issues meant that Adrien was forbidden to have friends over nor to have anything of a party-like nature. Strangely enough, the model was sometimes allowed to visit and go out with his friends. It was a double standard, but one he'd decided not to point out to his father.

However, there was another exception to the rule: Chloe. It was apparently acceptable to socialise with those whom had money and society status. Snob value if you will. Not that Adrien would ever admit that to Chloe. She'd slap him up the back of the head… then suggest kissing it better. Ew.

Now had it been Ladybug, well that was an entirely different situation. She slapped Chat Noir half-heartedly on a regular basis. If only she followed up with the offer of kisses. The concept had a goofy smile spreading across Adrien's face. Though the likelihood of kisses happening for real was seemingly remote. Much to his annoyance.

So, Adrien forced himself back to reality. School in itself was something of a haven for the model. There was a sense of freedom and choice which he craved. Not that the other students understood. To them school was a suffocating chamber of mind-numbing lectures and forced learning. For Adrien it was a journey beyond home-life monotony.

Yet chatting to his peers wasn't without challenge. They all seemed to have wonderfully intriguing lives and adventures. All he had to contribute was his experiences playing clotheshorse, along with the time spent in the chair having his hair primped and his makeup done. It didn't bode well in making him seem like a masculine wonder. Especially when girls sometimes asked him for makeup tips.

Still, Adrien often found he had an audience when he did divulge some of his fashion escapades. Although he wasn't sure if it was simply out of politeness. Marinette was often the most transfixed but then that could be because she had a passion for clothes design.

What he wouldn't give to share some of his adventures as Chat Noir. To explain what it felt like to sail across the cityscape by the vault of his staff. Of how it felt to smash the absolute snot out of a villainous akuma. Not that he should be gloating about that, yet it made him sound much more like the badass he wanted to be seen as. Squeaky clean Adrien Agreste was boring, superhero Chat Noir was anything but.

Not that it had done him any good in winning over his lady's heart. That was a conundrum he was still trying to figure out. The whole secret identities bit only made it worse. Oh, how he wished he'd opened that storeroom door after Lady Wifi. It probably would have resulted in a slapped face but he would have finally learned the identity of his partner.

Instead he'd worked on the angle of respecting her wishes, of being a gentleman. Yet his display of complete trust in her had done little on the romance front. He had many admirers without the mask and he'd often wondered if Ladybug was secretly one of them. Again, secrets. Damn secrets. So many secrets. Or was it all an illusion? Perhaps Ladybug didn't fancy the less flamboyant side of his personality. Though he could have sworn he'd caught Ladybug ogling one of his billboards. She'd denied it of course but she'd been awfully tongue-tied.

Raking a hand through his hair, Adrien strode into his bedroom and dumped his bag on his bed. Another day was drawing to an end. He'd finished his Chinese lessons and he was about to pretend he was doing piano practice. Setting his iPod in its dock, the model walked to his open window and stared at the sky that was fading into orange. Plagg zipped from his shirt and eyed him with a raised whisker. "You've got that mooning look on your face again."

"I'm not mooning, Plagg."

The cat kwami gave him a bored stare.

"Fine, I might be mooning just a bit." With a sigh he rubbed at his nape. "Do you think Ladybug would be interested in me if she knew that Chat Noir is, well, me?"

Feline eyes narrowed and a muscle twitched underneath. "Possibly. Why do you ask?"

"I think she was checking out one of my billboards."

At that Plagg grinned with far too much satisfaction. "You don't say."

"There's something you know that I don't."

"There are a great many things I know that you don't. Like what an eight track is."

Adrien rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant."

"Really? I never would have guessed."

"Your sarcasm isn't appreciated."

"Oh, but it is, I appreciate it."

With a heavy sigh, Adrien pushed up his sleeves and uttered, "Plagg, claws out."

"Not fair," Plagg wailed as he was sucked into the ring miraculous, transforming Adrien into Chat Noir.

With a flex of his gloved fingers, Chat Noir looked at his now black and green ring. "Sorry buddy, there's someone else I'd rather converse with."

Leaping out of his room, Chat Noir made his way across the skyline wanting the freedom to simply run. He slowed as he reached a more affluent part of the city where many a billboard was smattered containing his own image, one without the mask. Shaking his head, the hero wondered what people would think if they discovered it was Adrien Agreste bounding across the rooftops in form fitting black leather.

With a snort he decided they'd probably think it a publicity stunt for his father and wave away the idea that Adrien could possibly be the real Chat Noir. With narrowed eyes and a protruding bottom lip, the feline hero wandered along a rooftop ledge while staring at the ginormous image of himself. That stupid one where he was grinning like an idiot with his mouth open when jumping in the air. Honestly, it looked more like an ad for incontinence pads than cologne.

With a distinct growl, Chat Noir unfurled his fingers and walked up to the billboard with a wicked glint in his eye. With his fingers outstretched, he began scratching a moustache and goatee on the advert using his claws. But that was just the start, next he moved on to add a nose ring and matching eyebrow piercings. Next, he scratched on crow's feet at the corner of his eyes and was just etching in bags underneath when he was assaulted with the furious voice of his partner.

"CHAT NOIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Casually, he eased his hands behind his back and threw Ladybug a smile, one lacking any sense of remorse. Apparently, that was poor form on his part.

"Stop gloating. This isn't funny!"

Arching a masked eyebrow, Chat Noir turned to admire his handiwork. "Really? Not even a bit?"

"You defaced a public billboard."

Waving his hand, Chat Noir reminded her, "There are many more that people can view. I count at least another six."

"That's not the point! I can't believe you did this!" Ladybug snapped as she tugged at her pigtails in agitation.

"Relax, I'm sure people will see the humour in it."

"Oh no," Ladybug growled with a heavy exhale, "they won't. Ohmigod, I can only imagine what Adrien would think. He'd be so upset."

This had Chat Noir's masked eyebrows lifting near his hairline. It was then that an idea popped into his head. "Let me fix it. Cataclysm!" With that he slapped his powered-up palm upon the billboard and watched it disintegrate with a great deal of satisfaction.

Ladybug on the other hand, looked horrified. "NO! Look what you've done!" She was picking up bits of the blackened char like she could somehow mend it by clipping the pieces together, like reassembling a jigsaw puzzle.

Chat Noir dusted his hands then placed them on his hips. "Problem solved."

The sudden hard set to Ladybug's jaw gave Chat Noir a clue as to how riled up she was becoming. "This isn't solved! You destroyed it!"

"Believe me, Adrien would be most okay with this situation."

"Like you know him anywhere near as well as I do!"

That had him cocking his head with intrigue just as his ring gave a warning beep. "Highly doubtful."

"Every time we've had to interact with Adrien you're off busy doing something else."

Chat Noir tried to rein in his smirk. He crossed his arms and glanced down at them to hide his expression. "That must be inconvenient."

"Inconvenient! Chat Noir, I don't know what's gotten into you. There have been times when I've needed you to help me in a sticky situation where Adrien has been in danger and you're nowhere to be found."

"Hmm, yes. The timing hasn't been the best." Mirth twinkled in his eyes as they locked gazes. His ring lost another paw-pad and beeped.

"This is not something to be amused by!" With that comment Ladybug actually stomped her foot.

"You seem awfully worked up about Adrien Agreste. Is there something you're not telling me?" Chat Noir leaned sideways towards her. "Do you have a crush on him?" Anticipation had him holding his breath.

"I-I…" her lips pressed into a firm knot. One that was surprisingly posed in a way that was delightfully kissable. "…I don't have to tell you."

"So that's a yes then."

"I never said that!"

"You don't need to, bugaboo."

"You are infuriating."

"But I'm right, aren't I?"

Ladybug's hands had curled into tight fists as she glared at him. His ring chirped for the third time but he ignored it.

Blue eyes darted to the pile of char. "I need to fix this. Lucky charm!"

Chat Noir watched as a broom dropped into Ladybug's awaiting grasp and he couldn't stop himself from laughing. "Should I try to find a dustpan?"

"Shut up, Chat!" Her lips were so tightly pressed together they were trembling. "Miraculous Ladybug!"

The broom was tossed into the air and the billboard was magically restored to its former glory, minus Chat Noir's creative embellishments. While Ladybug's eyes were focussed on the reinstatement of the ginormous advert, Chat Noir had taken the opportunity to drop his transformation.

Adrien stood with his arms crossed. "I still think it looked better as a pile of ash."

Ladybug's angry eyes snapped back to him, her mouth opened ready to snarl a retort but then her brain must have caught up to the change in his appearance. "A-A-A…"

The model turned to look at the billboard. "An eyesore, I know. My father hasn't learned the whole 'less is more' angle. Apparently plastering up posters everywhere is his idea of effective marketing."

"Where's Chat Noir?" Ladybug managed to rasp.

"Oh, he's inconveniently detained. You know, like every time I'm around."

"He's gone?"

"Yep, I think he went… that way." Adrien pointed over his shoulder without any conviction. Yet Ladybug was nodding as if he made some sort of sense.

"Right. So, um… how'd you get here?"

"Teleportation." He deadpanned.

Ladybug merely blinked like her mind was in the throes of a conflict so severe it could rage for years.

Shaking his head and sighing, Adrien walked to his partner and watched her eyelids grow wider as he closed up the space. "I could tell you the truth but I've been sworn to secrecy. You know, secret identities must be kept secret at all costs. So, it's obvious that Chat Noir couldn't possibly be me."

Her mouth sagged open as she continued to stare.

"That's not a great look for you, LB. Let me help you out." Sliding a finger under Ladybug's chin, he forced her mouth closed with a nudge. "Much better."

She didn't move away, if anything she kind of slumped into him. "I-I can't…" her miraculous beeped, "…you can't…"

"No, of course not. Because it's a secret I have to keep, right?"

Suddenly Ladybug's arms wrapped around Adrien's neck and he was pulled into the most unexpected kiss of his life. Well, one he would actually remember. His partner was almost frantic in their lip-locking but Adrien was more than okay with that. Time became irrelevant as they kissed and kissed and kissed. Neither noticed the countdown of warning beeps. It was only the flash of de-transformation which alerted Adrien to the fact that his partner's identity would be exposed if he opened his eyes.

And his ability to resist dissipated as her lips stilled against his. Adrien opened one eye first but the second snapped open the moment he recognised the girl in his arms. "Mari-"

Her finger pressed to his mouth. "I've been here the whole time. Ladybug left like a full minute ago."

A lopsided grin spread across Adrien's face. "Damn superheroes, always leaving when things get interesting."

"I know. Lucky for us, we don't have any humungous secrets like that to keep."

"Mm, like lingering crushes on boys plastered upon billboards."

Marinette gave him a glare that was lacking in sincerity. "In that case I guess I should find my way home."

"Wait, look over there." At that Marinette glanced to where he pointed. "Plagg, claws out."

Marinette giggled before she even turned around. "Chat Noir, where'd Adrien go?"

"No idea, he's a rude dude. How about I take you home? You seem to be stranded on a rooftop all alone."

"I know, talk about inconvenient. Thank goodness you came along when you did."

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked while leaning close enough to rest his forehead to hers.

"Yeah."

"I love you."

At that Marinette blinked then smirked. "Don't tell Ladybug."

"Why?"

"Because she loves you too but it's a secret."

"I won't tell a soul."

"Your lips are sealed?"

Chat Noir hefted her into his arms, bridal style. "Only if you kiss me and make it official."

"Deal."

* * *

**Thank you for taking the time to read this one shot. I had the impulse to just write and see what I could come up with when little thought or planning was put to it. So I guess this story is probably more rambling than my usual stuff,**** but I hope you enjoyed it regardless. I apologise for any errors, despite proofreading it like three times I've probably missed something ;)**

**I hope to have an update to at least one of my longer stories next week, life has been rather busy and writing has taken a backseat.**

**As always your support is appreciated, so too your reviews. Please give some love to the box below. Many thanks!**


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